I lost what i had lost

What is life? Is it a period that for human to learn how to love, how to hate, how to care and how to compare? Maybe and maybe not..

Sometime quite tired with my life that full of assignment and also comparison.
Not others but myself. I always compare current with previous. But i found out that current always worse than previous. Is it i had increase my own need but i still stay at same point? Maybe and maybe not..

I have lost some of the ability that i previously always proud of it.
I lost my confident. I lost my point. I lost my way.
I can't even found back what i had lost. Maybe i never own anyone of them..

I love him too much. And i know he love me much.
But i think both of us are now hurting each other cause of too love... or in other word, we are enjoying to hurt each others.
Sometime when time stop at some point, we will suddenly feel that we can lost each others.
Maybe this so call psycho.. Love make us blind.

I hate those who always love to get advantage from others. But i am damn bad luck that i always meet with this kind of people. Those people will feel that what thing they done should be appreciate and what thing that we had done is actually nothing. Or maybe can say that they feel they are brilliant but we are braininess. Or we may call this kind of people as shit. Or maybe shit will be more nice than them.

Yeah.. shit is more nice than them.

I need back all my confident. I wish to dress up sometime but due to "someone", i do not dare to dress up cause he will always said " sai mm sai kam kua zheong o?"
I lost again my confident.