crapping

Shushi day on tomorrow...
hahah...
have to enjoy myself there and throw all the trouble behind of my mind...

Hmm... have a drink now...
try to improve my drinking level so that i could easily join with them...

OMG...
my heart was starting beating fast as i am going to drunk soon..

who's the one who can really hear what i concern about????????
ehmmmm...
sis?? NO~!
ting?? NO~!
fish?? NO~!


aiya... no friend for me...
and the one who can i speak to was speak currently...
cannot kacau him pula...

Just wonder..
if oneday my mind was overload...
will i just left the world without saying anythinG??
Just wonder.....

Have to enjoy myself now...
JIA YOU LST..
u can do it~~~

NO ONE APPRECIATE.. still got urself..
=)

11.12.09

11.12.09

昨晚,疯了一整个晚上..
累了整个早上.. 想好好的睡一觉, 可是当我躺下时脑袋又瞬间清醒了..

回想我这几个月的生活..
回想我之前的两年~
回想我之前的乖乖牌..

我怎会变成这样??
想起我怎么伤害自己..
想起我怎么开始另一段不确定的感情...
想起这段若有似无的爱情..

简直一团糟.
喝酒..喝醉..
放纵... 不再有矜持...
因为一切都不真实了~

看着昨晚拍的照片...
认不得那是我!!
我不应该是这样的~~

我的放纵台过火了
这真的不是我!!!

好像像电脑一样,有个删除按钮...
把一切删除.. 让我回到像以前一样...

你..
给你的话.. 不知道你会看到吗~
我把心给了你.. 虽然不是很爱很爱.. 但我真的把它给了你
我不知道你有没有珍惜过..
我不知道你是不是也有一点爱我..
对这样不清不楚的感情.. 我很辛苦..
我自己躲起来哭的时候.. 我委屈的时候你知道吗??
对不起..
当话一说出口..又是另一个不同的阶级..

我又开始失眠了...
我开始觉得我是个独立个体...
我开始觉得我是个绝缘体..

这是什么生活??

痊愈~????????????

是不是当我不再难过~不再介意..
意味着
我已经痊愈了??????????