2 May 2009

Saturday night.. sitting in front the comp but nothing to do...
So tired.. So boring..

I know i let them down..
I planed with daddy that will go Malacca gai gai on labor day but i didnt do that. Cause i am tired so my daddy just cancel the plan.. He is disappointed..

I talk with my mummy and my sister last night..
Again, they complaint about my bad temper.. Actually i know myself well.. actually i know what am i doing.. just.. sometime i really do not know how to show it out in words.. all i know how to do is just show my bad temper to them.. I know i am bad.. i shouldn't do like that.. but its hard.. its tough.. and its tired..

They are right.. I am still like a kid.. and i never growth..
Why i never think of future.. why my thinking won't be as mature as my sister is.. why??
They really understand me well.. they know that i will just show my temper to the person who really really close to me.. and so unlucky, they are the one who i can show out my bad temper.. sorry for the things that i did..

Daddy and Mummy ar.. actually i love u all so much..
I alone at kl.. and i know both u hope that i can back to Muar and be with u all together as my sister and brother. But Mummy, i really not used with the life in Muar.. I really sorry for that..

Sometime i saw my brother and sister so close to my parents..i really feel so lonely..
Alot of things i miss.. alot of things changed when the time i not around.. Even i will call back everyday, but its impossible that they will tell me every single things that happen around them and same as me..

I feel so so so tired..
I wish speak out all the truth..
I am tired with my life that full of pretending..

Auntie ar.. I am sorry for the things that i did.. but somethings really hard to get back to used.
Uncle ar... Really thanks for the caring and also sayang o..

Darl?? I still calling you darl lo.. its hard to change.. but in some day, i still have to change it.
I am sorry
I am tired.. i really tired..

Hey.. is it Heaven still have space that can fit me in??
Or else hell also not a bad idea..