电话篇~

我的电话是不是坏了？怎么都不吭一声？
傻到一直看着电话,等着电话响起的那刻~可是怎么等，它还是乖乖的躺着不吭一声~

...

怎么会这嘞?
想不透啦...

可不可以让我任性一次??

自私的想把你留着,因为我不知道下一次自私何时会来..

回來了

回來了..
今天以前,我想了好多...
今天以後,我就是我..

from KL to Muar~

这是个长远的路途..原本一小时三十分的车程变成了三小时的旅途..
但这样也好,让我有时间静一静想一想我想要的..
努力让自己成熟,是不是真的成熟了? 还是只是虚有其表呢?
不得不承认我还只是个幼稚的小孩子..不管怎样伪装..到最后还是遮掩不了我那幼稚的行为..

干嘛赌气呢?各人有各人的生活空间,你不需要迁就我,我也不用迁就你..这不是我想要的吗?
还是我太习惯了?习惯了这样的生活..
这不是真正的我吧!!也许只有在某些人面前,我才是真正的我..
我行我素..生气,伤心,开心都会表露在脸上.. 喜欢撒娇..喜欢被人疼..喜欢别人在乎的感觉..这才是我吧!!
很想跟你说,其实我很容易吃醋啦..你称赞或靠近别的女生我还是会在意的啦..我会不爽的咯!!
不理不睬..假装不在乎绝对不是我的作风..
可不可以做回原来的我?

生活难免会有小插曲..

插曲一

A thian 约了D去吃晚餐..D答应了..但却忘了..
A thian 其实很难过..可是却装不在乎..
其实不需要伪装对不对..要嘛就大声说我很不爽..要嘛就试着谅解..
所以我说我真的很傻..

插曲 二

同样的事又发生..D还是不能和A thian一起晚餐..
A thian发火了..超级的不爽,但并没有告诉D,还跑了出去..
可是没地方可去..可怜的D真的很自责..
A thian其实很难过很难过.. A thian哭了整晚..最后睡着了..
其实不需要赌气的跑出去..要嘛就大声跟他说"诶,我很不爽你每次爽约哦!!"
要嘛就敢敢约别人出去..
要嘛就试着谅解..
那么容易的事,怎么当时会那么想不开呢?
哭有屁用啊..真是的..!!#$%#@%$!

总结,A thian其实很傻.. 对有些人和事都太执着..这并不是真正的自己..
可不可以做回原来的自己啊??!

20/08/2009

Recently really damn tired and sleepy. Keep fishing while working. Hmm.. How to solve it leh？

Should i say that i actually quite "hang fuk" cos got alot of people care and sayang of me??
But don't know why just feel like its not that real.. It just like in a dream and there is a risk that i will suddenly wake up from it.

First time there is a guy cook for me, DAMN nice the food. First time i feel that i been dote on by a guy that i like. What's that kind of feel? I really do not know how to describe of it. It seems like real but seems as quite far from me too.

My mood up and down cause of the same things, same matters and same problems.
Can some one else help me to from this?
No matter how, something still have to keep in mind, can't say it out..
May god bless me.. May god give me some space to put all the things in..

I wish i am happy.

I had throw out all the things that no longer belongs to me.
I will be happy and won't think of it anymore.
Maybe someone was right. Why should we have the complex thinking? We should enjoy our current life.

Yeah.. I will learn from it..
Don't think of so far, just appreciate what i had now then i will be happy.

I had throw all the things behind of me.
Pls wish me happy.

aH tHiaN

Finally i get back here.
I know what are they concern with, i just hope that i could find my way at here. wish me good luck..

I do not know how to describe the feel but it is not a good feeling and this is what i can tell.
I hate the annoying sound...
I used to be a curious person but now i have to hide it and pretend i don't care anything.. Haiz..

Is this the real me??
Hmm.. Wonder how long the real ah thian can hide from this..
When she wanna out from here.. Just wonder..　

对不起..

我知道自己很不乖..
我知道最伤心的是我mummy..

我看见mummy红肿的眼睛..
我不知道该说些什么..
我想起mummy突然抱着我哭,问我到底在想些什么时,我真的很痛..
我知道自己的不对..
我知道我知道mummy有多么的疼我..
我真的知道..

我无助的时候..她也一样的无助..
没人能帮我时,也没人能帮她帮我,,
我应该了解的.. 可是我却埋怨她的不谅解..
她疼我..不管多不愿意,她还是会放我走..

看着她的时候,我多不舍得她哭肿了的眼睛..
我真的很对不起..

我知道只要我乖,她会好开心..
但我要的却不只是这样...

好多的心情..我不知道向谁说..
我只能藏在心里..

HELP!!

What's wrong with me??
I start to confuse myself.. I don't even understand what am i doing now..
I hurt others, cos i am in hurt.. Is it i try to protect myself? Nope!! This is just an excuse!!!

Sorry mummy cos of my rude..
I should say those things to you. I should know how hard you are.. But i still choose the wrong way to treat you to hurt you !!

I just hope that someone could just understand what i am thinking now..
I though my sis should be understand, but seems as she not..

I just like an outsider in the house now, wrong in everything that i said and i did.
I shouldn't be here..

I am too selfish..
I just think of myself..

Actually i know what is right and what is wrong...
but i just choose the wrong way to did it.. and i purposely do that...

what's wrong with me??
I change alot.. I dunno how to be happy, i dunno how to smile anymore..

HELP!!